Six a.m.

There is something about surprises that makes me temporarily let go of reality and hold on to that piece of moment I currently have and not think about anything else.

The night before:

I was so depressed about an incident that happened to me in the hospital. I overlooked things and that made me confused about a procedure I have already done so many times. I made a miscalculation on my patient’s blood transfusion. Good thing nothing bad happed to him because of what I had done. I was so guilty that time that I can’t even function. I can’t take my mind of of what happened. I told myself that that will be the last time I will lose it. I should always put my patients first especially when dealing with critical cases.

I continuously ranted to Ian about how guilty I am of what happened. I wanted to be with him that moment, so I could have someone to hold my hand knowing I am so confused that time. He did his best to console me and he told me that everything will be alright, that I just have to pray and hope for the best. I was even joking to him that he needs to come to me and bring me some of the Carbonara his mother cooked which I love so I can feel alright.

I was on night duty. Midnight came and I was still caught up on paper works my head nurse left me with. I even managed to steal a nap after having my break in front of the computer table. I texted Ian about my duty and I told him that I can’t wait to get home to finally hear his voice on the phone. There was no reply. I was not surprised thinking it was only six in the morning, He could still be sleeping at this hour.

My phone screen lit up as I saw his name on it. I read his message; he asked if I could call him because he could no longer contain how much he misses me. I did and I instantly heard cars moving on the background. I got irritated because there was this rule we have that before anything else we do in the morning, we should text or call each other first. I was repeatedly asking him where he was and he kept on saying that I have to guess where he is. I felt my pulse escalating, asking myself, where is he??? While he was just laughing on the background. I could not take it anymore as I plead him to tell me where the hell he was. (Please tell me you are exactly where I want you to be). He read the signs he was seeing at the spot where he is and nothing seemed to ring any bell to me. I gave up and that’s when he finally said that he’s outside my hospital. HOSPITAL. THE PLACE WHERE I AM WORKING. He is currently outside, waiting for me. All the way from Batangas - which mind you is a two-hour ride from where I was. I was shocked and I could not move. I cannot absorb what is currently happening. Before I know it I screwed the elevator and used the stairs, running. I was so looking forward to seeing his face. The face I longed for more than 5 days since we last saw each other. I went past the parking lot and I saw a familiar stature with a jacket I clearly know. It was him! Oh, how my heart sank.

I could not help but to kiss him right then and there and repeatedly asked him what the hell he is doing here and that if he really is out of his mind. He said yes and he said that he has to bring me the Carbonara and cake from his mom. I was so happy I almost screamed! We walked towards the nearest place where we can also have our breakfast, not to mention how I want to dig in to that Carbonara I was craving to eat for so long. He also handed me a letter which he made the night before, telling me how I don’t have to worry and that he will stay and be there for me every time.

We talked until it was time for him to leave which is 9 am because he still has to go to work. He just went all the way from Batangas to Cavite so I can feel that he is there for me always whenever I need him. So I can know that distance is not a barrier to us. That made me realize how happy I am to have him and for him to be mine. I can’t bear the thought that we have to part again. Even though he hasn’t left yet, I was already missing him.

 This is one of the reasons why I love him. This is why I can’t think of anyone but him that it already feels so wrong. :)

Bottle Cap

We were supposed to meet at 4 pm but my watch read 5 and still he hasn't called. I was walking in and out of endless stores and boutiques just to kill time and finally, I was at my wits end. I called him a dozen times and after what seemed like an eternity, he picked up. I can hear my voice not in it's usual tone added to my stomach's rumbling sound as I speak with him on the other line. I asked him where he was and I hung up, sounding pissed as ever.

I saw him standing at the spot he told me where he was and I can feel my eyes shooting arrows toward his direction. He said he was so sorry and I just kept on walking, not matching his pace but he circled his arm around my waist just so he could keep up. I did not say a word and then he asked me where I would want to eat. That, I thought was the perfect you-DO-NOT-ask-me-where-I-would-want-to-eat-because-I-might-probably-want-to-kill-you scene. He got the picture instantly and walked me somewhere we can eat pizza. Oh, thank God.

I still was not talking to him after we took our seats and just pretended to be busy with my phone as he started writing something in our food's receipt (which by the way, we always do) I grabbed the paper away from him and read it, it said he was sorry of what happened and that there was a ROSE! I could not help but smile. He said he placed the single rose inside his bag knowing it would be alright in there, but the moment he was about to give it to me, it has already fallen apart. He regretted that he did not hold the rose instead if just leaving it inside his backpack. He compared the rose figuratively with our relationship. He added, you can't be complacent that everything is just "okay". You have to work hard every time and to not be settled with just that. There is always something that needs working on to keep the relationship going. Well, that is deep.

 Somewhere between his smile and the way he looked at me, I gave in. Not to mention my stomach was getting full as we speak. We were back to our usual selves and the Other Kim that was unleashed a while ago was back to its cage. I came to realize that I too, have overlooked some things. I did not consider that 1. He came all the way from Batangas just to see me that night. 2. He just got out from a 16-hour shift, and 3. I forgot for a moment how we missed each other and how we looked forward to this night. I got over my hanger (hunger+anger) instantly and we talked about things we missed about each other, how the day went and all.

 

Given that I already have a curfew, I needed to go home earlier than usual and honestly, It was also a relief to me that he has to go home early as well. This time I would not think of something bad happening to him along his way home.

Night came and I kept his letter, the rose that is currently in its falling-into-pieces state and a bottle cap we kept from the place we ate in with our initials in it. It also reminded us of the novel "Lola and the Boy next door" where Lola kept a bottle cap that Cricket gave her. But he reminded me that there is no need for me to undergo a ceremony and throw it into the ocean (like Lola did in the book) because according to him, his love for me will not change. Aww! :)

I have learned so much today about relationship goals and communication; unclear things should not be left unresolved for they may cause further damage when kept in. This day started so-so but ended pretty much how we both were expecting it to be, a night filled with countless laughs and unexpected hugs and stares that makes people wonder what the hell is there to see in each other’s eyes that makes us kind of addicted in doing it. Well, THAT KIND.