Six a.m.

There is something about surprises that makes me temporarily let go of reality and hold on to that piece of moment I currently have and not think about anything else.

The night before:

I was so depressed about an incident that happened to me in the hospital. I overlooked things and that made me confused about a procedure I have already done so many times. I made a miscalculation on my patient’s blood transfusion. Good thing nothing bad happed to him because of what I had done. I was so guilty that time that I can’t even function. I can’t take my mind of of what happened. I told myself that that will be the last time I will lose it. I should always put my patients first especially when dealing with critical cases.

I continuously ranted to Ian about how guilty I am of what happened. I wanted to be with him that moment, so I could have someone to hold my hand knowing I am so confused that time. He did his best to console me and he told me that everything will be alright, that I just have to pray and hope for the best. I was even joking to him that he needs to come to me and bring me some of the Carbonara his mother cooked which I love so I can feel alright.

I was on night duty. Midnight came and I was still caught up on paper works my head nurse left me with. I even managed to steal a nap after having my break in front of the computer table. I texted Ian about my duty and I told him that I can’t wait to get home to finally hear his voice on the phone. There was no reply. I was not surprised thinking it was only six in the morning, He could still be sleeping at this hour.

My phone screen lit up as I saw his name on it. I read his message; he asked if I could call him because he could no longer contain how much he misses me. I did and I instantly heard cars moving on the background. I got irritated because there was this rule we have that before anything else we do in the morning, we should text or call each other first. I was repeatedly asking him where he was and he kept on saying that I have to guess where he is. I felt my pulse escalating, asking myself, where is he??? While he was just laughing on the background. I could not take it anymore as I plead him to tell me where the hell he was. (Please tell me you are exactly where I want you to be). He read the signs he was seeing at the spot where he is and nothing seemed to ring any bell to me. I gave up and that’s when he finally said that he’s outside my hospital. HOSPITAL. THE PLACE WHERE I AM WORKING. He is currently outside, waiting for me. All the way from Batangas - which mind you is a two-hour ride from where I was. I was shocked and I could not move. I cannot absorb what is currently happening. Before I know it I screwed the elevator and used the stairs, running. I was so looking forward to seeing his face. The face I longed for more than 5 days since we last saw each other. I went past the parking lot and I saw a familiar stature with a jacket I clearly know. It was him! Oh, how my heart sank.

I could not help but to kiss him right then and there and repeatedly asked him what the hell he is doing here and that if he really is out of his mind. He said yes and he said that he has to bring me the Carbonara and cake from his mom. I was so happy I almost screamed! We walked towards the nearest place where we can also have our breakfast, not to mention how I want to dig in to that Carbonara I was craving to eat for so long. He also handed me a letter which he made the night before, telling me how I don’t have to worry and that he will stay and be there for me every time.

We talked until it was time for him to leave which is 9 am because he still has to go to work. He just went all the way from Batangas to Cavite so I can feel that he is there for me always whenever I need him. So I can know that distance is not a barrier to us. That made me realize how happy I am to have him and for him to be mine. I can’t bear the thought that we have to part again. Even though he hasn’t left yet, I was already missing him.

 This is one of the reasons why I love him. This is why I can’t think of anyone but him that it already feels so wrong. :)

Bottle Cap

We were supposed to meet at 4 pm but my watch read 5 and still he hasn't called. I was walking in and out of endless stores and boutiques just to kill time and finally, I was at my wits end. I called him a dozen times and after what seemed like an eternity, he picked up. I can hear my voice not in it's usual tone added to my stomach's rumbling sound as I speak with him on the other line. I asked him where he was and I hung up, sounding pissed as ever.

I saw him standing at the spot he told me where he was and I can feel my eyes shooting arrows toward his direction. He said he was so sorry and I just kept on walking, not matching his pace but he circled his arm around my waist just so he could keep up. I did not say a word and then he asked me where I would want to eat. That, I thought was the perfect you-DO-NOT-ask-me-where-I-would-want-to-eat-because-I-might-probably-want-to-kill-you scene. He got the picture instantly and walked me somewhere we can eat pizza. Oh, thank God.

I still was not talking to him after we took our seats and just pretended to be busy with my phone as he started writing something in our food's receipt (which by the way, we always do) I grabbed the paper away from him and read it, it said he was sorry of what happened and that there was a ROSE! I could not help but smile. He said he placed the single rose inside his bag knowing it would be alright in there, but the moment he was about to give it to me, it has already fallen apart. He regretted that he did not hold the rose instead if just leaving it inside his backpack. He compared the rose figuratively with our relationship. He added, you can't be complacent that everything is just "okay". You have to work hard every time and to not be settled with just that. There is always something that needs working on to keep the relationship going. Well, that is deep.

 Somewhere between his smile and the way he looked at me, I gave in. Not to mention my stomach was getting full as we speak. We were back to our usual selves and the Other Kim that was unleashed a while ago was back to its cage. I came to realize that I too, have overlooked some things. I did not consider that 1. He came all the way from Batangas just to see me that night. 2. He just got out from a 16-hour shift, and 3. I forgot for a moment how we missed each other and how we looked forward to this night. I got over my hanger (hunger+anger) instantly and we talked about things we missed about each other, how the day went and all.

 

Given that I already have a curfew, I needed to go home earlier than usual and honestly, It was also a relief to me that he has to go home early as well. This time I would not think of something bad happening to him along his way home.

Night came and I kept his letter, the rose that is currently in its falling-into-pieces state and a bottle cap we kept from the place we ate in with our initials in it. It also reminded us of the novel "Lola and the Boy next door" where Lola kept a bottle cap that Cricket gave her. But he reminded me that there is no need for me to undergo a ceremony and throw it into the ocean (like Lola did in the book) because according to him, his love for me will not change. Aww! :)

I have learned so much today about relationship goals and communication; unclear things should not be left unresolved for they may cause further damage when kept in. This day started so-so but ended pretty much how we both were expecting it to be, a night filled with countless laughs and unexpected hugs and stares that makes people wonder what the hell is there to see in each other’s eyes that makes us kind of addicted in doing it. Well, THAT KIND.

Everything's Right

It was an unexpected sunny Saturday from a week of heavy rain and strong winds. We planned to spend the day together in Sky Ranch, Tagaytay. My face literally lit up the moment I saw him. I wanted to hug him so tight but I managed to just flash him a smile. That would do.

He held my hand like he always does and I clutched his arm with my other hand as we walk through the whole park. The sun is setting and all of it would be a waste if we do not have pictures to document each second, of course. We chose a spot wherein not many people go to and chose to stay there, loving the sight of the mini volcano in front of us. I’d give anything to freeze that moment.

We made our way past the crowd and into the Ferris wheel ride. As we are waiting in line, he asked me to wear one of his headphones, and I was thinking like, “Do I seriously have to wear that considering the ride is only just for ten minutes?” but I did not complain. Secondly, after we were already inside, he chose to sit across me. Usually he would sit beside me so at that moment I felt something was not right. Then there he was, opening his backpack and letting out a yellow stack of paper to which I did not know for what purpose so I was like, “What’s going on?” staring at him blankly. He asked me to stay put and to just put on the freaking headphones. And so I did.

The first song that played was Matt Wertz’ Everything’s right and I can already feel my face heating up! I was laughing and smiling like an idiot but I became dead silent while he began flashing the FIRST card. And so I realized he made a somewhat slideshow presentation with words and pictures which he drew that sums up OUR crazy story. I was so taken aback that I can feel my jaw dropping while he flips each card. The story started from the first time we met (which was a month from now) until we are having to sneak just to see each other, up to my parents finding out about us and their disapproval of us, how I chose to stay for him, and the last slide was how he loves me and how all of it is true and it’s just so amazing and wonderful and I was all out of words for him and was close to tears when he finished.

The feeling that I have for him, I could not seem to explain. It was like he held my heart and I have his and we are very careful of that something we currently have and feel for each other that everything, including the sun setting outside of our car ride began  to vanish as we only had eyes just for each other. He told me once again that he love me and I hugged him so tight to let him feel that I am here, and I am not going to leave.

And because I was on the verge of video-taping him in the process but he asked me not to move a single muscle, he agreed with me to do a re-enactment afterwards instead. So here is a link of a video of him giving his presentation minus the Ferris wheel ride and the sunset and butterflies and stars floating around us and hearts flying in every direction. (ha! just kidding)

And because my stomach does not want to participate anymore, we had to go somewhere else for our dinner. What else would be more perfect than a serving of Bulalo on the side while we talk about everything and anything we thought that needs catching upon even after a whole day of being with each other.

The day has to end but it did with a smile on our faces and warmth in our hearts. I watched his video as I lay on my bed over and over again until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. There's something about him that I cannot fathom what made me this way. I know this is a little bit early for something like this to exist between two people, but I am hoping that this will be the REAL thing. 

Flipside

heart·break (n) - overwhelming distress. The absolute worst feeling in the entire world. When one is heartbroken they may actually feel such an intense pain they don't even want to live anymore. 

Going online on Facebook is merely the only way to catch up with my old friends’ lives at the moment. Me being busy and all with work and stuff, I only get to go and meet up with my closest-close friends. Surprisingly though, it caught my attention that almost (well not all of them actually) had their own fair share of failed relationships with the ones we thought were the “ones”. I can clearly remember myself with a friend saying, “Hey they look so cute together! No wonder if one day they will announce their wedding date already!” Then poof ! That 8 year relationship ended with just a snap.

You can never really tell how you are going to end up with someone, same as you cannot  tell how and when a relationship is going to last. I became a witness of my best friend’s once precious 9-year relationship with a guy (yes there is no need for his name to be stated here) and just ended before you can finish saying “cheat your heart out”. Well, did I give away the reason why their relationship ended? Oh, did I really? I’m so sorry for my drastic move there.

Love – I was once a victim of this murderer. Y’all can say that trouble, love’s long lost cousin is in fact a friend of mine. Oh what I would give just to bring back just one yesterday with all those memories. – Yep, NOTHING.

I can still remember those exact feelings of being brokenhearted and I would not spare words just to describe them. Me being single now is a choice and I am happy with it. No muss, no fuss. I know the love of my life is just out there, as what my best friend always tell me, “he’s just caught in a heavy traffic”. The day when we finally will meet, I will be ready. I will stare him straight right in both eyes and say “I knew it was you all along!”

So you know what I would tell all my friends out there? Stay. Single. Just kidding! I want them all to experience the bright side of this ‘thing’ as well. But I want them to guard their hearts. Might as well study it first. Know its depth and limitation. Know the boundary of that love that you can give out to someone without hurting yourself in doing so. Get to know that other heart as well that you plan to give out half of you into. Will he really deserve it? One way or another you will have yourself patched up after a broken heart but you have to know how to get back to the start, to the beginning where none of this had ever existed yet. And learn to fall in love – again. 

#MakeUpTransformation

This trend started when makeup artists posted pictures to present a before and after look. This became hysterical when a number of guys started posting their own version portraying the look of many famous celebrities like Beyonce and Rihanna. Look here

My friends started asking me to do my take on #MakeUpTransformation as Coleen Garcia. At first I was hesitant because 1. I already cut my hair short; 2. I was always busy after my hospital duty to have my make up done and 3. I am not really used to smiling with my teeth showing like Coleen always do. :S

Whenever I open my FB newsfeed, people are always uploading their own version of this craze and so I gathered my guts and had make up essentials ready for this project. With the use of my lazypod, I achieved it without the trouble of having to hold my iPhone every shot. :)

With a little contouring, I really really had to make my cheeks appear smaller.

Then I had to make my brows appear tame.

And... This is my ‘Coleen Garcia’ look.

Besides Facebook, I also posted this on instagram and I was surprised that many people are noticing! They even reposted this picture and tagged Coleen Garcia to it. :)

Lastly, Look who liked my picture! I got so kilig when I saw it this morning!

After watching her act on #Y, I even loved Coleen’s quirkiness when it comes to acting and especially her clothing style.

Get on the rage and upload your own #MakeUpTransformation look! :)

NBA Cafe

I've seen a lot of people posting about this new cafe that seemed to catch a lot of sports-inclined Filipinos and the like. I mean what more a sports lover could ask for? – A basketball museum, high-def TV screens all around you that plays nothing but, yes you guessed it – basketball games and not to mention, good food.

We were walking alongside the line of restaurants at the topmost level of SM Aura when we saw this cafe around the spot, and I was suddenly pulling my friends’ arms saying, “hey, maybe we should try that!”

We went inside and in came the greetings of the waiters welcoming us and this huge restaurant that literally resembles a basketball court!

The cafe is full of televisions; it got me wondering how it would be like during NBA finals! People screaming inside while eating their food and cheering for their favourite NBA teams.

We went there on a Thursday so you can see that there is not a crowd of people swarming around, which gave us the chance to actually roam around the cafe while waiting for our food to be served.

When you look to the left, you have there a view of the outside of the mall (too bad I did not have a picture) that shows how big SM Aura is. A perfect view while you enjoy your cup of coffee on a Sunday morning. :)

The cafe is full of memorabilias: jerseys signed by famous NBA players, basketballs that were actually used in a game and NBA action figures that surely the kids will love. I’m not a fan of NBA really but I enjoyed looking at them.

The waiter that served us was so polite and he even told us in honesty what dishes in the menu are not ‘worth ordering’. We went with safer picks, first we had the Penne that looked soooo delicious with it’s creamy pesto sauce and those awesome pine nuts and sun-dried tomatoes. Yum! Next we asked for Three-Cheese Pizza that is so delish that we even saved some for us to eat for later. After that (with the waiter’s recommendation) we tried the Bacon-Wrapped Hot dogs that came with a bunch of fries that we felt so-american while eating them. But my most favourite is the milkshake! It’s called the 50’s – which basically is just a vanilla ice cream milkshake topped with whipped cream that resembles the taste of a salted caramel milkshake which I so love! I really can’t get enough of it.

Of course I just had to have a picture of myself with this marvelous wall that hanged all of NBA teams’ jerseys to it. I just love all the colors! My friends even tease me that what I was wearing was actually perfect for our day-out which I did not know concerns basketball. :D

As I was saying, I am not into this kind of stuff but I know people will enjoy dining here. I can imagine families that are fans of NBA having their lunch here during finals. That would be like, the best family day ever. :)

Memory Lane

We were supposed to go to Pampanga to go to Sand Box but the bipolar weather did not permit us to do so. Instead, we went on a road trip on an early Saturday morning, driving along Aguinaldo high way straight to Tagaytay with a stop-over only to refill the tank with gas. I, behind the steering wheel personally love driving. I can go on hours sitting casually with just a cup of coffee beside with only one condition – I get to play MY music. :)

Since I was in my college years, I have been hearing about this certain restaurant that basically is an American vintage-retro themed house that literally will bring you back to the fifties with its amenities and adorable one-of-a-kind interior design. So, instead of us being gloomy about the trip to Sand Box that just had been cancelled, we decided to go to Memory Lane instead for our lunch. Yes, the name alone brings a lot of many things to look forward to in that restaurant.

Joy and Tyn, as I have always been telling in this blog, are my two best-est friends. We each have partaken ourselves in a lot of trouble just to press on with our many to mention craziness but still, we managed to push through every time. :D Now, we have decided that we will have our lunch in an American themed restaurant and we will get to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.  

What greeted us as we entered the place was this cute sign! And then as I was scanning the whole restaurant, the walls are full of signs like this that will surely catch your attention. Another one that I have seen was a wall that looked like an emergency sign that says ‘ANTI STRESS THERAPY: BANG HEAD HERE’.

The chairs and the tables completed that whole ‘nostalgic’ look. They were blue and white and pastel-y kind of called mixed together.  

Also, that vintage television was a great plus to the whole look. I did not have the chance to ask what movie was currently playing in the TV but I was sure it was in the genre that Audrey Hepburn was in. Imagine them playing the movie Roman Holiday! The thought makes me feel giddy. ;)

The food was alright, we ordered their famous spaghetti plus potato salad with bacon bits and their home-style fried chicken. We were actually saving our appetite for later because we plan on having to munch on full mode when we get to Sky Ranch Tagaytay.

Overall, the experience was refreshing. Having the moment to be away from the city’s busy streets, highways and everyday noise is a great way to invigorate. The best part of it is that I get to spend this day with my best friends! I recommend everyone to try and pay Memory Lane a visit. Explore every party of the house-slash-restaurant. And don’t forget to take pictures! J

-kim

Book Club

It was a normal Sunday, the sun fell within the sky’s level just to give out a modest shine, not so humid nor chilly.  Just right. A perfect weather to stay in bed and relax, but knowing I have friends that have toes that itch whenever they tend to rest, I know that thought is rather impossible than typical.

I got a call from Joy asking us to wake up. No, scratch that. DEMANDED us to wake up. And so we did. Tin didn’t have anything important to do either, so we agreed to meet up and spend have the day (at least) in a mall in Alabang.

Everything felt so cozy even while we are straddling the streets of Alabang Town Center that used to be a tiring thing to do but that day it felt way normal, it was like a doing-this-every-week-would-not-hurt-kind-of-thing. We had our late lunch at Johnny Rockets and we helped ourselves order each of us mediocre-sized burgers and sandwiches (of course I didn’t get to finish mine and ended up having it to-go instead)And oh, This cute luggage iphone cases caught our eyes as we were making our way to the book store. 

 We went to Power Books and I swear I could not contain myself from laying my hands on every book I see that I wished I could purchase everything I laid my eyes on. I ended up buying only two of them though, Everyday by David Levithan (which I super looooveee by the way and probably my favourite book as of the moment) and Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor and Park (which I plan on reading as soon as I can get the plastic wrapper out of the book). Tin went with Gayle Forman's If I Stay which will soon be a movie hit this August.

Being our usual selves, the day would not surely be complete without a serving of coffee at the side. I do not know how we came up to this ritual, we did not start as coffee-holics in the first place but here we are, consuming each of our dose of caffeine that seemed to kick in as we made that first sip. We talked about our friends, our HIGH SCHOOL friends, how we think where they are and how they do now and if ever they did stick together after all the years that have passed like the three of us. It made us laugh and realize how much our friendship had actually gone through and surviving those years we have surpassed. Surely, there were obstacles and difficulties we went through but still we managed to keep in touch and keep our bolts secured (not being sure of those within our heads though) But still, the three of us are here, having our little conversation over three oddly-looking beverages that have caffeine in them and cracking each other up with a laugh every time. We could not entirely survive this with one of us missing though, maybe that is how and why we managed to be this strong, because we bring out the best in each other and no one could ever do the same thing we do to each of us as we do. :)

#HyveNation

The long-awaited night-clubbing had finally taken place! Our high school friends and I have been planning this night since forever. We chose the club Hyve, which seemed to be a spacious and hip bar where we can enjoy the night taking shots and dancing around the place. :)

All in all, we were 12. I made Carlo, one of my colleagues back in SPi, tag along. We met around 9pm at The Fort, but before that we took care of clothing and make up back at Joy’s condo. We had ourselves signed up for guest list so there will be no fuss on our entrance.

We had the lounge area considering we are twelve, and I was the one who picked the drinks for us which I thought were lame because we find some of them seemed very lightly mixed with alcohol. The night was young as we danced along with each other and taking our shots generously as the DJ fires out club music.

We made acquaintances with some of the people there; they were nice to get along with our group’s craziness and all.

My only concern about the club is their choice of music. Well, not being judgmental and all but I think they have to consider that being a Saturday night especially, people are looking forward to songs that just came out from UK’s top 40. Sad to say their set list is more of a back track playlist for me. :(

We left Hyve at around 5am and we went straight to Kanto Breakfast to have our well, yeah – breakfast. I really would like to talk about Kanto Breakfast but I would first like to try more of their meals before doing so. We had the usual: Tapsilog and all the silog meals you can think of plus with a serving of either hot chocolate or coffee. I can’t stop thinking about their blueberry pancakes! I wish I did order them then. :(