The One That Got Away

Out of nowhere, my senses told me to go check your twitter account, and there I laid my eyes on your posts which were straightforward, pertaining to me. I broke your heart, I know. And I did it again. Now we are hardly friends when back then, we were so close together. I don’t want to sound naive, but from what I’m showing, I always come back to you every time I end my relationship with another. The last time, you were thoughtful enough to accept my presence. But now, I can’t even feel you. I am guilty of what I did, pushing you aside whenever I “meet” other person. I always had in my mind that whenever I need someone to back me up you will always be there. But no. Not this time. I had my chances and they were all used up. I threw them out like I’m an insensitive bitch.

I remember how we sneak out from our classes just because we find the professors or the subjects boring and then we’d hit the cafe after. There, we’ll just talk about anything and everything there is to say. I remember you telling me I was “trustworthy” of people’s secrets when I rant about how come people tell me their secrets because I find it hard to have a burden inside me with things I can’t tell to anyone. When after my duties at hospital, you make it a point that we’ll meet once I arrive. I miss when people see us together, with their eyes studying us, we can see their faces questioning if we are together. We’ll just smile with the thought of it. I miss every time you sing to me. I miss your voice, your laugh. The way you talk, the way WE talk.

Something inside me says it misses you. And I don’t even doubt it. Because I really do. I just want it back the way it used to be. I may have hurt you but all that were being apologized for. I’m not asking for you to be with me. I just want my friend inside you to return. I’m in need of that right now. Though you ignore me every time I make a move, I will always be here trying. Please don’t let everything we’ve been through to be vanished in just a snap. We can’t deny it, I was once yours, and you were once MINE :(

Homebody

Earlier I met up with my college friends. Surprisingly, I missed them. Considering we were always together bunched up during school days. But this time it was different, we moved, talked and looked different. Every second surprised me about how mature we had been. We talked about our plans for future, where we will work and how we will spend the two months of waiting for the board exam results.

Honestly, I don’t have any future plans as of now. Frankly, it scares me. My friends have countless plans for the next days, weeks. And there I was seated silently hearing them talk. One has a plan to go out of country to have a job there, the other one plans to apply for work.

My dad wants me to continue medicine. But I think that would be a loooong process. I have to study for 6 years more before I could land a job. That’s too long for me. I want to earn my own money as soon as possible. But thinking of it, my dad was supposed to graduate as a doctor, but he didn’t continue it because he didn’t really liked what his father had chosen for him. Instead, he graduated only his pre-med and didn't use it as his job. And now, he wants me to continue his career.but I don’t think it will work out. Besides, I still wait for the results of the board exam before I make plans, just to ‘make sure’. All these boredom kills me. I’m thinking of being productive for once but I got nothing. For the mean time, my friend asked me to join workshop for modelling but I don’t think I have the guts to get in to that type of work. Maybe I’ll just finish all the pending movies in my list. And just avoid being a couch potato in the house :D